Blue-ribbon Caramels

After my mother passed away, my brother-in-law created a flipped-page collection of some of mom’s best/favorite recipes that she often made. I noticed a mistake in the recipe for caramels (Mom’s mistake, not Ron’s). I realized that instead of 325º the recipe should have read between 244ᵒ and 248ᵒ. I had watched mom make the caramels before, so I thought I would make a batch.

The recipe makes about 100 individual caramels, and I didn’t know what to do with all of them. “Why not bring them to the Iowa Capitol?” Lobbyists, legislators, and the media always like something free and sweet.

A fellow lobbyist approached me and said she heard I made the caramels in the lobbyist lounge. “Yes, I did; what is wrong with them.” “Nothing,” she said: “I have tasted the blue-ribbon winner for caramels at the Iowa State Fair and yours are far better.”

Well, the following summer I entered my mom’s caramels in a candy contest at the State Fair. The first of three contests was sponsored by Suzette’s Candies. My entry was set aside on a table with several other entries, while three were brought behind a blue curtain. I asked the lobbyist who encouraged me to enter why this procedure was happening. She told me that the entries behind the curtain were going to be awarded ribbons, while the ones on the table were rejected. She moved close to the table and reached over, peering at the comments on my entry form. “Too soft! Not uniformly cut.” Hell, I didn’t know everything was supposed to be the same size. I can easily fix that.

I learned a little about marketing that week. Land O’ Lakes was having another contest in a few days. I made another batch, got out a ruler (I have no calipers) and measured each one carefully. Then, I gave them the name of “Mom’s Old-Fashioned Too Soft Caramels.” Bingo! I won first place. I received a blue-ribbon, of course, a cookie cutter that I have never used, and a one-year supply of Land O’ Lakes butter. Evidently, a one-year supply of butter is supposed to be one pound per month. They don’t know me. I went through all twelve coupons in less than six months.

It was a few years before I discovered that mom got her recipe out of the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook (BH&G), almost word-for-word. I do remember, however, that mom didn’t have a candy thermometer; she used the cold-water test. I’ve tried it. That never worked for me, but I can tell when stirring when the time is right, but I do back it up with a thermometer. I have included the recipe below. The ingredients are the same as in BH&G, but I have included a few tips, such as – stir continuously, don’t try to go too fast and turn the heat up, and if you can, use a copper-bottomed pan and wooden spoon.

I still make caramels and send a few to family members at Christmas time. I also have some loyal customers who purchase a batch from me during the winter months. Like every other commodity or food staple, the price of a batch is going up, and so is the postage to mail them.  You can make them yourself with the recipe below. Let me know how they turned out. Or you can order a batch or a half batch from me.

CARAMELS

2 Sticks ‘salted’ (sweet cream) butter + 2 teaspoons

2 ¼ Cups brown sugar

1 Cup white corn syrup

1 Can (14 oz.) Eagle Brand only sweetened condensed milk

1 Teaspoon vanilla

Mise en place – this is a French phrase that means you should get all your ingredients ready before beginning the cooking process.  Also, you will need:

  • Parchment paper
  • A good 3 qt. saucepan – I use a copper-bottomed pot for even distribution of heat.
  • 1 wooden spoon (and use this spoon only for candy making. You don’t want the hint of Stroganoff mixed in with your sweet stuff.)
  • Cooling rack
  • 8x8x2 in. Pyrex cooking dish
  • Candy thermometer
  • Rubber spatula
  1. Grease some parchment paper with 2 teaspoons butter and line the 8x8x2 in. pan with the buttered paper. You may butter the pan and not use parchment paper, but the caramels will be easier to remove from the pan using parchment paper.  Place the pan on a wire cooling rack.
  2. Place the 2 sticks of butter in the saucepan and turn the burner to medium heat (keep the temperature at medium throughout the entire process). After the butter melts, slowly add the brown sugar and white corn syrup.
  3. Slowly add the sweetened condensed milk, stirring the entire time.
  4. Cook to form a firm ball in cold water, or cook until the candy thermometer reads between 244ᵒ and 248ᵒ. It may take some time (probably 15-20 minutes), but be sure to stir constantly.
  5. When the firm ball temperature has been reached (I go all the way to 248ᵒ for a firm version), remove the pan from the stovetop and add the 1 teaspoon of vanilla. Stir until the vanilla has been thoroughly mixed and the caramel is smooth.
  6. Immediately pour the caramel mixture into the parchment paper-lined dish or buttered dish, using the spatula to get every last drop.
  7. Cover it and leave it alone. The following day you may lift the slab of caramel from the pan, along with the paper, and tip it upside-down on a clean cutting board.
  8. Cut the caramels into uniform pieces and wrap in waxed paper.
  9. You may freeze these for up to 6 months. But why would you do that?

***

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Every Thirty-two Years

Traveling back to Des Moines from an event in Coon Rapids in late September, we came upon a deputy sheriff’s car sitting along side the road as we popped over a hill. I wasn’t worried. I had the cruise control on, and it indicated that I was doing 63-mph in a 55-mph zone. Most law enforcement will look the other way when you’re doing less than 10 over.

We traversed for about a mile down a level and straight stretch of Highway 141. I was looking in my rear-view mirror most of the time. I noticed the patrol car leave the shoulder of the road and follow me. Just when I thought I might have escaped the horror of being pulled over for a violation, the patrol car sped up and got right behind me. I knew the red and blue lights were about to be engaged because there was no other traffic on the road. Sure enough, the deputy engaged the light bar.

I slowed down and went another 500 feet or so to turn off the highway and into a business’ parking lot on the edge of Bayard. The deputy pulled in behind and got out of the patrol car.

He introduced himself and told me that after I had passed him, I sped up to 65-mph. I know that wasn’t true and I insisted: “I had the cruise control on.” But that’s all I said. I am aware of people in uniforms with ticket books (now computer printouts) informing speeders to tell it to the judge.

“License, registration, insurance?” He asked.

While I fumbled for my driver’s license, Stephanie was going through the console to find the registration. I handed both to him and he returned to his SUV. Oops! Forgot to give him the insurance information. Stephanie grabbed it and opened the passenger door. “NO!” I cried. “You can’t do that!”

She waved the insurance document to make sure he knew we had it and came back into the car. He had instructed her to do so. I explained that cops do not want you to exit the vehicle unless it’s their command. If we were minorities, she may have been shot. Well, maybe not. We were, after all, in rural Iowa and who could shoot Stephanie? She’s charming!

I was given a warning ticket for speeding, and a fixit ticket to have the front license plate attached to the car. We purchased the vehicle from a little old lady from Arkansas who drove the car to church on Sunday, only. Actually, there was a church bulletin in the car under the seat when we received the car, but the little old lady had it in the garage for years after her husband died. Cars in Arkansas do not need a front plate license plate. Our front license plate has sat on the dash of the passenger side since we purchased the car over three years ago. We did look into having a bracket or some other device on the front bumper to display the plate, but were told by a body shop owner that drilling holes in the fiberglass bumper would either 1) crack the fiberglass upon a slight bump into something – like a high curb or wall; or 2) would crack the material during an Iowa freeze.

It’s time to change Iowa law and remove the requirement that cars must have a front license plate. The only possible use for the front plate is so that law enforcement can use a plate reader to identify stolen cars, catch wanted criminals, and give county deputies a reason to pull over a vehicle with people leaving an event where alcohol was served in order to nab a drunk driver.

We don’t drink. But we may have taken enough of the deputy’s time in the parking lot to allow others leaving the event with a drink or more to drive right on by without grabbing the attention of the deputy.

Upon arriving home, Stephanie asked me if I had ever received a warning ticket before. “Yeah, I think it was in 1968.” Thinking it over, I realized that I had a warning ticket from a Highway Patrol trooper back in 1992. I was traveling to Spencer to conduct some consulting work for Iowa Workforce Development, or whatever it was called by then, when I saw the flashing lights in the rearview mirror. After he pulled me over, the trooper asked me if I knew how fast I was driving. “I don’t know, sixty-five?” “No, no, no,” he said. “You tell me fifty-five and it’s up to me to prove you wrong. I’m just going to give you a warning.”

That was thirty-two years ago. I’m hoping to go another thirty-two years before I get another.

***

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Satan’s in the Details

On July 26 of this year, the Iowa Department of Administrative Services (DAS)[1] adopted a new policy in which anyone requesting a venue for an event in the Capitol or on the Capitol grounds may do so for only one day, and may request only one event per year per organization.

I wouldn’t have noticed this change in policy if I wasn’t told by a good friend of mine that The Satanic Temple [TST] of Iowa had planned a two-day reading “of John Milton’s ‘Paradise Lost’, significant to Satanism, starting September 16, at the Iowa State Capitol” over a two-day period. The TST was forced to move its reading to the Tama, Iowa, Courthouse because of the policy change.

TST was not the only entity irrationally affected by this change in policy. An annual fair on the Capitol grounds has also come to a screaming halt because the resource fair, which was intended to assist homeless veterans, has been conducted over three days in the past. Organizers have said that setting up for the fair alone takes more than a day. The veterans event has provided warm meals, used clothing, a place to camp with security for a few days, and a connection to resources that assist veterans with issues associated with homelessness.

I have no idea what prompted this change in policy, but last December TST erected a display in the Capitol rotunda. A loser[2] from Mississippi flew into Iowa with the intent of destroying the display. The vandal ruined it beyond repair and was subsequently charged with a hate crime. But the hatred of having something other than a Christian display in the Iowa Capitol was more than most Iowans could accept. This event could have been the impetus for the change in policy, but we will never know the truth.

The Iowa Congressional Prayer Caucus is listed on the Capitol Events Calendar as having two events scheduled, one in December[3] and another early in the year[4]. This could be a mistake, or it could be the result of a sneaky clause in the Memorandum of Understanding that representatives of organizations requesting venue for events at Capitol must sign. In the new MOU, effective July 26, section 8 states: “This MOU may be amended in writing by mutual consent of the parties. All amendments to this MOU must be in writing and fully executed by the parties.” That’s one of the largest loopholes I’ve ever seen. If the Iowa Prayer Caucus wants more than one event, all it has to do is request a waiver according to section 8 of the MOU.

I’m too busy with retirement, but I am hopeful that someone reading this will keep track of the Capitol events to ensure that no one organization receives special attention from section 8.

***

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[1] The department was formally called the Department of General Services. I noticed the change not too long after I had to pay a parking ticket and wrote it out to “DOGS.”

[2] Not naming this person, he was a “loser” in an unsuccessful run as a candidate in a Mississippi House of Representative election.

[3] Nativity celebration

When Tue, December 10, 10:30am – 3:30pm

Where North (map)

Description Organization: Iowa Congressional Prayer Caucus

 

[4] Iowa State Capitol Bible Reading Marathon

When Fri, January 10, 2025, 8:00am – 4:30pm

Where Entire Rotunda (map)

Description Sponsor: Iowa Prayer Caucus / Iowa 99 County Bible Reading Marathon
Event Information: https://sites.google.com/view/iowa-worldwidebiblereading/iowa-state-capitol-bible-reading-marathon or https://www.iowaprayerhub.com/

 

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Happy Labor Day!

“All other holidays are in a more or less degree connected with the conflicts and battles of man’s prowess over man, of strife and discord for greed and power, or glories achieved by one nation over another. Labor Day is devoted to no man, living or dead, to no sect, race, or nation.”

Samuel Gompers

Have a safe, relaxing, and joyful day!

Fawkes-Lee & Ryan

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Hunger Pains Me

Christmas preparations for my family take weeks. There are gifts to be bought and wrapped, trees to be trimmed, menus to plan, massive amounts of cookies to bake and decorate, plus coordinating travel schedules for the four-hour drive north to my hometown in Minnesota. One year a car had been rented, since our vehicle needed repair and the neighborhood mechanic was short-staffed due to a COVID outbreak. That was the year of my early Christmas gift. I awoke to a pounding head, spiking fever, sore throat, nose running like a sieve, cough and trouble breathing. Marty and my adult children headed north to celebrate, as I crawled into bed to test the strength of my immune system.

Marty put out bird seed, water and cat food before leaving. Animals and children find comfort and security in daily routines and we, meaning primarily me, put out food and water twice a day; once at sunrise and the second feeding in the afternoon.

Christmas morning was spent going in and out of consciousness as the fever raged on and my breathing became labored. Blurry eyed, I noticed that it was afternoon and the cats and birds would be outside waiting for their meals. I also knew that I wouldn’t be able to rest knowing that they were cold and hungry. Stumbling out of bed, I put on my long overcoat, Kansas City Chiefs Trapper hat, oversized rubber boots and headed outside to feed the hungry critters.

It may seem strange to risk my health and potentially life going out into the cold, but forty years ago for a short period of time, life-changing feelings of pain, anxiety, depression and hopelessness engulfed me from sleeping outside in the cold with no food in sight. This is the same cocktail of emotions that lead so many to suicide attempts. That is why preventing another living creature from experiencing that level of pain is so important to me.

Many people carry similar scars from facing difficult times in life. A good friend of mine shared her experience of being a young child living in an upper-middle class neighborhood where she stubbornly set out to walk to school after missing the bus. There was no food at home and the only meal during the week was the school lunch program. That experience haunts her decades later.

A previous co-worker who considered herself a devout Catholic shared her anger directed at a well-dressed young couple with children who were using a SNAP card even though they drove to the grocery store in a Mercedes. When I pointed out that people from all walks of life can go through difficult times, she backed away from her anger and chose gratitude over judgement.

Stereotypes over the people dealing with food insecurity also flourish in political circles. Similar to church environments, politicians live in cloistered environments where angry, judgmental beliefs breed and infect the group like a COVID pandemic. Focusing on the needs of hungry Iowa children are discarded as hostility takes hold. But, political squabbling over federal funding to feed Iowa children during the summer is both unhealthy and heartbreaking. Public servants need to put aside prejudice and partisan politics in order to focus on the needs of children. Food insecurity carries life-long scar tissue.

Putting aside the morality argument for rejecting federal funding help for children, it simply isn’t cost effective for the State of Iowa to administer its own food program to meet the dietary needs of our diverse population. People have food allergies, food intolerances, dietary restrictions from religious beliefs, cultural food preferences and the list goes on. Federal funds should go directly to Iowans to meet individual needs instead of money being skimmed off the top to financially benefit the State of Iowa, nonprofits, churches or the undeclared providers of the food items going into the restrictive food boxes. More government regulation for transportation delivery is wasteful government spending.

The nanny state argument for controlling the food, instead of trusting and allowing struggling Iowans to choose food items is the fear of fat children. Maybe political leaders feel fat children will reflect poorly on their political image. Weight can be lost and a healthy lifestyle can be embraced at any age. Protecting children from life-long emotional scars from hunger is today’s problem. Since hunger carries the same feelings of hopelessness as suicidal thoughts, let’s meet the basic needs of children today, so they can hopefully live long enough to learn about healthy lifestyles.

*****

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Hot stuff!

This year, we planted several varieties of hot peppers: habaneros; ghost peppers; super chili; Thai peppers; serrano; and Carolina reapers. We’re not going to mess around with those mild ones like jalapenos. Several of the pepper plants are beginning to bear fruit.

Last week, Stephanie and her son, Gregg, dined on half of a Carolina reaper. She brought the other “half” of the pepper home to make chili. While she was in the kitchen making the chili, I could hear her coughing. I went to see what was wrong, and as I entered the kitchen, the power of the ½ of a tiny Carolina reaper took my breath away. I immediately opened the window over the sink. Next, I moved to the other room to grab a couple of leftover masks from the Pandemic. We waited a few minutes before going back into the kitchen. That is all the spice she used in the batch of chili. It turned out just right – spicy and warm, and it was a huge batch of chili.

I grew up not knowing what real chili was. My mom always made a depression-era version of chili that was actually chili soup. It was heavy on the tomato juice, which stretched it far enough to feed at least half-dozen kids, if not one or two more. Even school lunch was chili soup. My belief was that chili soup was what everyone meant when they had chili. I don’t remember the first time I had actual chili, but I can never go back to chili soup, even if made with V-8 juice instead of tomato juice, a wild alternative that spiced the soup enormously.

In the Vail, Westside, and Arcadia areas of Iowa, better known as the AR-WE-VA School District, children are raised on having lettuce sandwiches with their chili soup at school. The recipe is simple: butter two slices of white bread, place some iceberg lettuce on one of the slices, place the other slice on top of the lettuce, and cut the sandwich diagonally. When I first heard of this, I thought it was a joke. As soon as I tried it, I couldn’t believe how natural the sandwich went with the chili soup.

The past week was not as hot as any August in the past. And August is not the time of the year you would usually have chili, but I wasn’t done. Since a half-gallon of milk was on special for ninety-nine cents, Stephanie picked one up. We already had a full quart in the refrigerator. So, I decided to make some potato soup. I wasn’t going to use mom’s recipe. Mom’s recipe was the depression-era soup that was nothing more than onion and celery sautéed in butter, potatoes and milk, with some salt and pepper added to make you think you were really getting a tasty meal. No, I was going to make some real potato soup with bacon, chicken stock, and a little flour to make it thicker.

I looked in several cookbooks to see if there were recipes for potato soup that I could glean ingredients from, or recreate a unique procedure. Even perusing through many church fundraising books and similar cookbooks put together by employees, neighbors, and others, to my surprise, I discovered that potato soup is not a recipe that is commonly shared. I did my best to improvise with whatever was in the cupboard and refrigerator.

When my potato soup was ready to eat, I expected a gastronomic revelation. It tasted just like mom’s potato soup. I’ll not be sharing the recipe. Not even in a cookbook for a fundraiser. I can now understand why fundraising cookbooks lack recipes for potato soup.

***

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