Chicago – The Sequel

Posted on February 1, 2023 by Marty Ryan

My first time in Chicago was chronicled in a previous blog, Look Before You Leap. I’ve been to Chicago, and the metropolitan area several times since. And who hasn’t had a frustrating trip through O’Hare Airport at least once in their life. But airports are different matters.

My next visit to Chicago after my schooling fiasco was a business trip in the late 1980s. I was a union business agent and represented workers in a Wilson Foods plant in Clarinda. Pepperoni was made there. I went to see the union members there often, always bringing a large stick of pepperoni home with me.

I was sent to Chicago in late spring or early summer to help negotiate a chain contract. A chain contract is where all the various plants owned by one company negotiate one contract. Union representatives from Wilson Food plants in Minnesota, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, and many other locations outside of the Midwest showed up in Chicago to negotiate. I was told to bring enough clothes and money for three or four days. After six days, I was out of clean clothes and money. This was before ATMs and not many people of average means carried credit cards (the hotel room at the Holiday Inn Merchandise Mart was not my responsibility). It took almost an hour at a bank across from the hotel to agree to allow me to write a check for cash. I needed some of the money for coins to wash clothing at a laundromat. The rest I needed for food.

Much of my Chicago memories include food. But not entirely. Walking down Michigan Avenue, a group of us union negotiators came upon striking workers at the Chicago Tribune. We spent time walking the strike line with them and talking with them. I don’t know if it’s true, but one striker told me that the Tribune owned the WGN television network. “What do you think WGN stands for?” He asked me. “World’s Greatest Newspaper.” That sidewalk was where I saw my first exhibition of a guy opening his coat with watches, necklaces, and just about anything else you could imagine. “Make an offer,” he said. I shook my head no. Remember; I was short on cash.

Another highlight was walking into the Billy Goat Tavern and having a cheeseburger. I was shown the bar stool that Mike Royko, one of my favorite columnists at the time, sat on every afternoon before they poured him into a taxi. I loved Slats Grobnik. They just don’t write like that anymore.

After two weeks, we were sent home. We didn’t obtain a contract at that time, but because we had so much idle time, several of us discovered some of the best places to eat in Chitown. I didn’t care for Gino’s; the pizza crust was too thick. Most good places seemed to be between Michigan Avenue and LaSalle. My favorite was a restaurant that is no longer there. The name of the small out-of-the-way place was something like Bertinelli’s (no, not Portilla & Bennilli’s). A small steak was a little over sixteen ounces – a pound. The atmosphere was thrilling. It was one of those places that had curtains over the booths. Outside, one evening, a private limo sat in a no parking slot, driver behind the wheel. It was still there when we left.

Another place I enjoyed and frequented more than once was Carson’s Ribs. When I was in Chicago again in the 2000s, again on business, I wanted to eat at Carson’s. Blindly, Stephanie followed me through the streets of Chicago as we walked right to it. No Google, no directions; just memory. I did have to ask for directions once and the guy said it’s right there. Had we turned our heads we would have seen it. In a MASH television show, Hawkeye Pierce mentioned his love of Adam’s Ribs in Chicago. I’ll bet it was a reference to Carson’s.

I’m not a Cubs fan, or a Bears fan, so I have little reason to travel to Chicago. But it’s still a great city. I lived thirty miles from New York City for four months in the early 1970s but have never been there. At the time, everyone told me that I should go into the city, but don’t go alone. When I asked if the person would go with me, the answer was always “no.”

Because I haven’t sat in an airplane since 1999, I doubt I’ll see many more cities in my lifetime. I can drive to a few, like the Twin Cities and Kansas City, which I like. However, my favorite times have been in New Orleans and San Francisco. Yes, food was a big part of those trips.

I love Chicago! But don’t take me there again.

* * *

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Look Before You Leap

Posted on January 26, 2023 by Marty Ryan

I was told often that I wasn’t college material. That’s probably because I didn’t apply myself during my four years of high school. I had a friend, Jim, who died of leukemia within two years of graduating, who would do his English homework during history, and history homework during whatever class followed that, and so on and so forth. I feel I am too attentively deficit to accomplish such a self-inflicted assignment.

Also, I didn’t think I could afford it. Pell grants weren’t available until 1973, and I graduated from Kuemper High School in Carroll in 1968. Most other kids that went to higher education had families that could help financially. And then there was that buzz in my ear where I had heard more than once that “you aren’t smart enough to attend college.” I’m sure that was related to my grades. I didn’t do homework unless I could get it done in study hall and wasn’t too tired from roaming around that night before and needed a nap.

So,  my guidance counselor, Cletus Windschitl, grandfather of Matt Windschitl – majority leader in the Iowa House of Representatives, met with me once and gave me brochures about auto mechanic schools throughout the Midwest. Never mind that I am probably the only student ever to attend Kuemper Catholic High School who flunked “shop.” Unfortunately for me, neither my deli-style counseling session nor brochure indicated that the place I would stay while at school had a top floor that was open to the sky, or that my school and place of residence would be in a crime-ridden neighborhood. And, it was never mentioned to me that I was going to Chicago immediately after the Democratic Convention and riots of 1968.

My first visit to Chicago was when I was seventeen. I had enrolled in a school on the south side that taught auto mechanics. I took the Greyhound bus from Vail, Iowa, to Chicago and took a taxi from the bus station to the school. I had no idea where that school was located. I remember that it was south of the business district [Wacker Drive & the river], but I couldn’t name a street if I had to. I’m quite sure the school was in the South Loop if you’re familiar with the Chicago area.

The school was disappointing. The students lived in a hotel up the street about two blocks away. The top two floors of the hotel had burned out, but that didn’t stop the hotel from operating. [I can’t be sure, but everything I have researched points to the Douglas Hotel, where the top floor was on fire in 1961 – seven years before I was in Chicago.] I was assigned a room with another student on the top ‘livable’ floor. The neighborhood didn’t just appear to be dangerous; we were told not to wonder about. Within a few days of getting situated, I left the room, went down the elevator to get a Coke out of the machine on the ground floor and took the elevator back up to the 6th floor. When I got out of the elevator, I saw a fellow student lying on the floor of the hallway close to my room. He had just been mugged. I couldn’t figure out how it wasn’t me. It was matter of a couple minutes or less.

My roommate moved out and down the block to a different hotel. I didn’t have the financial resources to move. Fortunately, I decided I didn’t want to be an auto mechanic after all. My high school guidance counselor had suggested it when career assessment tests indicated that I like to “work with my hands.” A day after my roommate moved out, I headed out to the bus depot with my new toolbox full of Snap-On tools. I had paid for them. They’re guaranteed for life, but not if your stepfather breaks the lock on the toolbox and steals them while you’re in the Army.

Another thing that was strange about this school was that it was on the second floor of a building. I recall walking up many steps to get to the classrooms and shop area. Just another thing I didn’t notice on the brochure. I’m beginning to think there were no brochures. It must have been a matchbook cover.

Moral of the story: Check it out before you commit!

 

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I swear I’m not swearing

Posted on November 30, 2022 by Marty Ryan

Recently, I sent a text message to a friend letting him know that I would “affirm” the commitment of another friend for the three of us to have coffee at a designated location. The recipient of the text replied to let me know that our mutual friend could either “affirm or swear” the commitment. It was then that I realized I must have inherited Norm Crosby disease from my mother. I knew I meant ‘confirm.’

Norm Crosby was the ‘King of Malaprops.’ A malaprop is “the mistaken use of a word in place of a similar sounding one, often with unintentionally amusing effect, as in, for example, “dance a flamingo” (instead of flamenco).” My mother loved Norm Crosby. I was befuddled by her admiration of him even though she spoke like him – unintentionally.

The texting banter got my brain wandering about why swearing is a sin. Swearing has two different meanings. One meaning is to “make a solemn statement,” while the other definition is to “use offensive language.” Isn’t that a paradox?

Is it any wonder I was confused as an elementary pupil at St. Ann’s Grade School? Even in first grade the nuns would have us children memorizing the catechism.

“Who made you?” “God made me.”

“Who is God.” “God is a supreme bean who made all things.”

Maybe first graders today can understand the description of a being, but back in my time I doubt most of those students in Sister Donald Marie’s first grade class could comprehend. We hadn’t got to “see Spot run,” yet.

We were taught that swearing is a sin. But is it a venial or mortal sin? Venial means “denoting a sin that is not regarded as depriving the soul of divine grace.” A mortal sin is “defined as a grave action that is committed in full knowledge of its gravity and with full consent of the sinners’ will.” The nuns didn’t communicate the specifics very well. For instance, is it a mortal sin to masturbate, but only a venial sin to have sex? There was no chart or wrist band for us to refer to various degrees of sinfulness. We were on our own.

I began first grade at five years old. My mother swore like a sailor. To me, those cuss words she used were better understood than the definitions of mortal and venial sins.

As we moved into the 3rd, 4th and 5th grades, we were encouraged to save our pennies for the “Propagation of the Faith.” I didn’t want to sound dumb and ask the nun what the hell propagation meant. And I’ll bet that most of the others had the same thought. I continued to call it the propaganda of the faith and no one corrected me.

The Roman Catholic Church uses big words throughout its liturgy, education, and missions. However, my religious background has taught me the difference between an encyclical[1] and an encyclopedia[2]; a cannon[3] and a canon[4]; and relocation[5] and reconciliation[6]. I’m not so sure my former classmates understand those distinctions, even today.

It was difficult being a Catholic. I may always be a Catholic, even though I do not participate in the sacraments. I can relate to what John Lennon once said about messaging: “People always got the image I was an anti-Christ or antireligion. I’m not. I’m a most religious fellow. I was brought up as a Christian, and I only now understand some of the things that Christ was saying in those parables. Because people got hooked on the teacher and missed the message.”

With my mom, I always got the message, no matter how garbled the sentence was with malapropisms and swearing. She never comprehended the irony of calling us boys “you dirty little no-good sons-of-bitches,” and she “could care less.”

I miss my mom!

[1] a papal letter sent to all bishops of the Roman Catholic Church.

[2] a book or set of books giving information on many subjects or on many aspects of one subject and typically arranged alphabetically.

[3] a large, heavy gun usually mounted on a carriage.

[4] a church law or decree.

[5] the action of moving to a new place and establishing one’s home or business there.

[6] the restoration of friendly relations.

 

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Talking turkey

Posted on November 10, 2022 by Marty Ryan

If you’re feeding a huge crowd for Thanksgiving this year, you better get out and find your large turkey today, if you haven’t already.

Because of the bird flu, large birds are going to be scarce. You may have to settle for two 12-pound birds instead of your usual 24-pounder. Iowa is one of the top five turkey producers in the United States, and the avian flu hit us hard. This also means that a turkey is going to cost you more, but what doesn’t anymore.

One of the most creative ways to get a couple of toms for Thanksgiving would be to hang around a governor’s mansion when the tradition of pardoning a pair of birds is a general spectacle prior to Thanksgiving. Once the birds are pardoned – grab one. Hey, it’s free! Right? Freed, free: What’s the difference?

On my daily walk last week, I spotted a wild turkey running through the Tai Dam Village Festival parking lot. If I were faster, I might have caught it. However, to chase that bird I would have been trespassing. I respect the Tai Dam people and the land they acquired, which reminds them of the land they left behind in southeast Asia.

However, we don’t need a turkey. We haven’t eaten turkey in this house for close to twenty years. We don’t eat turkey for various individual reasons. My personal view is that I think turkey tastes like “sacks of wet cement.”

So, enjoy your green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, and mashed potatoes with gravy. We will have some of those Thanksgiving treats, but our latest tradition has been chicken marsala. I’m not sure what we’re going to have this year, but it won’t be turkey.

Happy Thanksgiving from Fawkes-Lee & Ryan!

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Why I dislike constitutional amendments: Part II

Posted on September 22, 2022 by Marty Ryan

This is the second part of a series about the reasons why I object to most amendments to Iowa’s Constitution. The series begins with the most recently approved amendments and ends with my first opportunity to vote for or against a constitutional amendment in Iowa. The previous post on this subject can be found here.

 Dueling (approved by Iowa voters in 1992) Art. I, § 5

1989 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Democrats

1992 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Democrats

In the general election of 1992, Iowa voters approved this measure that repealed section five of article one of the Iowa Constitution. Section five of the Constitution prohibited an otherwise qualified candidate from running for office if that person had been a party to a duel.

The late Representative Clay Spear (D-Wever) spearheaded (no pun intended) this amendment through the legislative process from beginning to end. Rep. Spear claimed that the provision was archaic and no longer necessary as a part of our constitution. I recall voting “NO” on my ballot. My specific objection was the fear of having other original amendments repealed.  There was a sense that dueling may be in style again sometime in the future. Really! I do remember thinking that. Little did I know that a law would be enacted in 2017 called “Stand your ground” in which the outcome is closely related to what a duel may have been two hundred years ago.

  • A person is justified in the use of reasonable force when the person reasonably believes that such force is necessary to defend oneself or another from any actual or imminent use of unlawful force.
  • A person who reasonably believes that a forcible felony is being or will imminently be perpetrated is justified in using reasonable force, including deadly force, against the perpetrator or perpetrators to prevent or terminate the perpetration of that felony
  • A person who is justified in using reasonable force against an aggressor in defense of oneself, another person, or property pursuant to section 704.4 is immune from criminal or civil liability for all damages incurred by the aggressor pursuant to the application of reasonable force

Iowa Code Chapter 704.

I don’t believe that a person involved in dueling or standing ground (according to IA Code Chapter 704) should be eligible to be a qualified candidate for office.

Election and term; Governor and lieutenant governor elected jointly – returns of elections; Election by general assembly in case of tie – succession by lieutenant governor; Contested elections (approved by Iowa voters in 1988) Art. IV, §§ 18

1986 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Democrats

1988 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Democrats

AND,

Terms – compensation; Duties of lieutenant governor; Succession to office of governor and lieutenant governor (approved by Iowa voters in 1988) Art. IV, §§ 18

1986 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Democrats

1988 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Democrats

These two amendments were presented to voters on the 1988 general election ballot but were considered separately. The first listed above was known as Amendment 1. The subsequent proposal was Amendment 2.

Prior to the enactment of Amendment 1, Iowa’s lieutenant governor served as the presiding officer in the Iowa Senate, much like the Vice President of the United States serves as the presiding officer in the U.S. Senate. There is a difference, however. Before the enactment of the amendment, the lieutenant governor was elected separately by popular vote. The lieutenant governor could be associated with a minority party, or virtually, no party at all, giving one person without ties to either the governor or Senate, the power to determine legislation with just one vote.

The constitutional amendment allowed voters to select “the governor and lieutenant governor as if these two offices were one and the same.” One vote cast for the governor also was a vote for the candidate running as the governor’s selection to run as his or her successor.

This amendment also changed the term of the governor and lieutenant governor from two years to four years. A final action by the amendment added constitutional language that became highly controversial in 2017. The amendment provided that if the governor was unable to assume the duties of the office of governor for the ensuing term, the powers and duties shall devolve to the nominee for lieutenant governor. The word “devolve,” which means “to pass on (something, such as responsibility, rights, or powers) from one person or entity to another,” was the center of a legal opinion issued by the Iowa attorney general. Because of that word, Governor Reynolds could not appoint a lieutenant governor until her successor was chosen because she simultaneously was serving as governor and lieutenant governor.

A feeble attempt to rectify this problem may be brought before Iowa voters in the near future.

Amendment 1 was approved by two-thirds of Iowa voters.

Amendment 2 was more controversial at the time of enactment. Amendment 2 eliminated the practice of the lieutenant governor serving as the president of the senate. Under this amendment, the Senate would select its own presiding officer from its ranks. The amendment also changed the duties of the lieutenant governor by allowing for those duties to be “provided by law and assigned by the governor.”

The amendment established a definitive chain of succession if the governor and the lieutenant “shall by reason of death, impeachment, resignation, removal from office, or other disability become incapable of performing the duties pertaining to the office of governor, the president of the senate shall act as governor until the vacancy is filled or the disability removed; and if the president of the senate, for any of the above causes, shall be incapable of performing the duties pertaining to the office of governor the same shall devolve upon the speaker of the house of representatives; and if the speaker of the house of representatives, for any of the above causes, shall be incapable of performing the duties of the office of governor, the justices of the supreme court shall convene the general assembly by proclamation and the general assembly shall organize by the election of a president by the senate and a speaker by the house of representatives. The general assembly shall thereupon immediately proceed to the election of a governor and lieutenant governor in joint convention.”

Surprisingly, this amendment was approved by voters on the same ballot as Amendment 1 in the closest ballot vote in Iowa history: 50.01% to 49.99%.

I have no recollection of how I voted on either amendment.

 Time laws to take effect (approved by Iowa voters in 1986) Art. III, § 26

1984 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Democrats

1985 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Democrats

 This amendment was one of the simplest enacted. It changed the date of the enactment of a law from July 4th to July 1st and eliminated the requirement that a law passed of “immediate importance” could not take effect until “publication in newspapers in the State.”

Without researching much further, I can only assume that newspaper owners, journalists, and a few people who oppose everything (no, I am not that person), were the only ones in opposition.

 

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Why I dislike constitutional amendments

Posted on September 12, 2022 by Marty Ryan

There have been seventeen amendments to the Iowa Constitution since I have been able to vote. There is one pending, and three proposals have passed the first of two successive general assemblies, which is required before qualified Iowa voters approve or disprove them.

Although I cannot remember how many of those amendments I have voted for, and how many against, in recent years I have voted “no” on most of them. It’s not because I’m a negative person, it’s because there is a legitimate reason to reject them. A proposal to amend Iowa’s Constitution, guaranteeing the right to bear arms will be on the ballot this November. At the end of this series, I will comment about my objection or support of that proposal.

This is the first part of a series about the reasons why I object to most amendments to Iowa’s Constitution. The series begins with the most recently approved amendments and ends with my first opportunity to approve or disprove a constitutional amendment in Iowa.

Natural resources (approved by Iowa voters in 2010) Art. VII, § 10

2008 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Democrat

2009 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Democrats

I objected to the constitutional amendment that created a “natural resources and outdoor recreation trust fund.” The constitutional provision was to be funded by appropriations passed by the legislature. As suspected, the appropriations have never been made, rendering the constitutional amendment virtually useless. But that’s not the reason I objected to it. It’s a sales tax, the most regressive tax of all, which always burdens the least of our society.

Disqualified persons (approved by Iowa voters in 2008) Art. II, § 5

2006 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Republicans

2007 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Democrats

Like the Natural Resources amendment, this constitutional change had good intentions. This amendment repealed the language that disqualified certain persons from voting. However, in correcting the amendment, it didn’t go far enough. The old language disqualified any “idiot, or insane person, or person convicted of any infamous crime” from voting. The new language eliminated the idiot and insane person and incorporated a “person adjudged mentally incompetent.” The new amendment kept the restriction on a person who has been “convicted of any infamous crime.”

My opposition to this amendment was the fact that legislators didn’t have the courage to eliminate the ‘infamous crime’ provision.

When indictment necessary – grand jury (approved by Iowa voters in 1998) Art. I, § 11

1996 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Republicans

1997 Leadership = Senate – Republicans: House – Republicans

This amendment changed two aspects of criminal law. First, it eliminated the requirement that a simple misdemeanor fine be limited to one-hundred dollars. Next, it deleted “justice of the peace’ and replaced it with ‘an officer authorized by law.’ The language for the amendment was introduced at the request of the Iowa Attorney General. He had claimed that one-hundred dollars meant little in terms of deterrence today; that it was a lot of money in 1857 when the constitution was adopted, but that most Iowans could be dissuaded from committing simple misdemeanors if the fine were set by law instead of cemented in the constitution.

Jesus said the “the poor you will always have with you.” Mark (14:7). Evidently, that biblical statement did not resonate with the state’s AG. Most Iowans facing misdemeanor fines in 1998 were living well below the poverty level, and that has not changed. But, in a turn of decency, the AG did make sure that the fine would be set by the legislature, hoping that the minimum would be one-hundred dollars. Today, the fine for a misdemeanor is “at least one hundred five dollars but not to exceed eight hundred fifty-five dollars.” Iowa Code § 903.1(1)(a).

Depending upon where the judge is located in Iowa, a defendant will be fined anywhere from less than the minimum (but charged court costs or fees) to the maximum. Either way, defendants are more than likely to not have resources to pay fines. In the past five years, court debt has increased by at least $200,000,00. Unpaid fines, fees, etc. are increasing at an exponential rate yearly. Also, the state has utilized the questionable ethical efforts of a Texas law firm to go after these unpaid costs.

I voted against it.

Rights of persons (approved by Iowa voters in 1998) Art. I, § 1

1995 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Republicans

1997 Leadership = Senate – Republicans: House – Republicans

I voted for this amendment. It did one particularly important thing. It added “and women” to the Rights of persons section in the first article of the Iowa Constitution. “All men and women are, by nature, free and equal, and have certain inalienable rights – among which are those of enjoying and defending life and liberty, acquiring, possessing and protecting property, and pursuing and obtaining safety and happiness.”

There is little case law on this section of the Iowa Constitution. But that doesn’t mean that it hasn’t been addressed. “It is well-established that the protections of Iowa’s inalienable rights clause are not absolute.” Atwood v. Vilsack, IA S.Ct. (Dec. 29, 2006); See Gacke, 684 N.W.2d at 176. Does that mean that adding “and women” to the Iowa Constitution was meaningless? No, but the Court has side-stepped this constitutional guarantee for decades.

Fish and wildlife protection funds (approved by Iowa voters in 1996) Art. VII, § 9

1993 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Republicans

1995 Leadership = Senate – Democrats: House – Republicans

The amendment of 1996 is self-explanatory.

All revenue derived from state license fees for hunting, fishing, and trapping, and all state funds appropriated for, and federal or private funds received by the state for, the regulation or advancement of hunting, fishing, or trapping, or the protection, propagation, restoration, management, or harvest of fish or wildlife, shall be used exclusively for the performance and administration of activities related to those purposes.

I’m sure I voted for this amendment. I see no concerns or objections. It is only right that money collected in the course of fees, licensing, and grants for fish and wildlife be appropriated to support those activities.

* * *

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