Talking turkey

If you’re feeding a huge crowd for Thanksgiving this year, you better get out and find your large turkey today, if you haven’t already.

Because of the bird flu, large birds are going to be scarce. You may have to settle for two 12-pound birds instead of your usual 24-pounder. Iowa is one of the top five turkey producers in the United States, and the avian flu hit us hard. This also means that a turkey is going to cost you more, but what doesn’t anymore.

One of the most creative ways to get a couple of toms for Thanksgiving would be to hang around a governor’s mansion when the tradition of pardoning a pair of birds is a general spectacle prior to Thanksgiving. Once the birds are pardoned – grab one. Hey, it’s free! Right? Freed, free: What’s the difference?

On my daily walk last week, I spotted a wild turkey running through the Tai Dam Village Festival parking lot. If I were faster, I might have caught it. However, to chase that bird I would have been trespassing. I respect the Tai Dam people and the land they acquired, which reminds them of the land they left behind in southeast Asia.

However, we don’t need a turkey. We haven’t eaten turkey in this house for close to twenty years. We don’t eat turkey for various individual reasons. My personal view is that I think turkey tastes like “sacks of wet cement.”

So, enjoy your green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, and mashed potatoes with gravy. We will have some of those Thanksgiving treats, but our latest tradition has been chicken marsala. I’m not sure what we’re going to have this year, but it won’t be turkey.

Happy Thanksgiving from Fawkes-Lee & Ryan!