After a few weeks of this hibernation practice propelled by the coronavirus pandemic, I decided to take some risks.
Last week, I washed my hands a couple times for only nineteen seconds.
I saw a crowd of nine people, so I walked up to join them. Hey, it’s perfectly legal. Had there been ten, I would have been pushing it a little. While in the crowd I thought I would have some fun by sneezing and coughing. It wasn’t long before I was standing by myself.
Never was there more fun than bringing my own package of toilet paper to the store and placing in it a shopping cart. I pushed all around the aisles with people staring at me. Some even asked where I found it. I directed them through some doors that said “employees only” and told them it was in a truck on the loading dock.
I’ve also sawed off a six-foot one by one piece of wood and marked foot increments on it. I carry it out in front of me and swing it by my side to keep everyone six feet away.
Actually, you should know by now that this is an April Fools message. Please, do not try this at home without adult supervision.