Iowa Governor Reynolds’ “Poor” Math

Last December, Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds turned down $29 million of federal funding that would have provided a low-income family $40 per month “to help with food costs” during the 3-month break in the school year. Her justification for snubbing the federal money was a cruel accusation that Iowa children are fat and that “childhood obesity has become an epidemic.” But let’s not have facts get in the way. Or, the lack of facts, thereof.

Erica Kenney, an assistant professor at Harvard University’s T.H. Chan School of Public Health, said “there is no evidence that a program like this has anything to do with childhood obesity. It’s absolutely true you can have obesity and be struggling to get food on the table for your family. It is not all true that helping people who are struggling financially means they’re going to eat more and gain weight.”

The governor’s heart may be in the “right” place when she claims that the $40 per month will not “promote nutrition,” but it’s not like the family receiving the assistance will give the EBT card to the kid so that the child can run down to Candyland and splurge on Mountain Dew and KitKat bars.

For someone who is family-oriented with parental rights at the forefront, the governor’s contradiction of total government control over the food choices of families is beyond flagrant.

Reynolds rejected the $29 million deal claiming that it would cost the state $2.2 million in administration fees. However, State Senator Sarah Trone Garriott questions that amount since it costs Iowa $2.2 million in shared administrative costs to run the entire Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) for the whole state.”  Moreover, the $900,000 for grants is a 15% increase in the already $6 million of federal money that was used by Iowa last year to fund the Summer Food Service Program. And supposedly, the money is for administrative purposes as well as money for healthy protein, veggies and fruits.

Secretary of Agriculture Vilsack estimates Reynold’s rejection last December means “Iowa will take a $100 million economic hit. The federal assistance “rolls around” in the economy, creating jobs at grocery stores and other businesses.”

Let’s do the math: the program that was rejected by Reynolds would provide $40 per month per child for three months; that’s $120 per summer per child. That doesn’t seem like a lot, but with several children at home during the summer parents can determine which foods to buy with the extended SNAP dollars. Without subtracting administration costs, that would assist 241,666 children in Iowa. Using Gov. Reynold’s Summer Food Service Program and Seamless Summer Option, which is nothing more than a continuation of free breakfasts and lunches provided by the federal government, not every child who received free meal in school will be able to participate. There are two reasons for this. First, over one-third of Iowa’s counties had either no meal sites or one meal site per county in 2023. Second, there are three options to the plan.

If operating a congregate meal, federal regulations require that parents and caregivers cannot pick up meals for their children, and “all meals must be consumed on-site.” However, a child may take “one fruit, vegetable, or grain item from their meal off-site to eat later.” According to the government website, a “typical lunch, for example, could include a [cold] turkey sandwich on wheat bread, milk, and apple, and a salad.

Another option is that the program is free to all children who attend camp, which is not defined, but most likely includes Vacation Bible School.

The third option is a non-congregate site where meals may be offered “to-go,” where a recipient or parent may pick-up the meal, or possibly delivered. How this differs from the first option is not explained.

All options for new meal site under the grant “must be located in an area where at least 50 percent or more of the children are eligible for free or reduced-price meals.”

A huge problem with Reynold’s program is that many adolescents sleep in during the summer. Having to be at a congregate site at a certain time will cause many teens and pre-teens to miss the most important meal of the day – breakfast. The program rejected by Iowa would have provided a breakfast meal at home. No walking in the rain, the sun, and scorching heat.

The Seamless Summer Option is a political response to an apparent uproar over criticism that the governor cares little about feeding hungry children.

This is a program that should be audited in the Fall. However, since this administration has tied the hands of Iowa’s Auditor, duct-taped his mouth shut and blindfolded his eyes, don’t count on that happening.

***

This article first appeared in the April 2024 issue of the Prairie Progressive.

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No Comprendo!

“Get your number two pencils out. Nothing else, just your number two pencils.” At that point the nun teaching the class would go to the child who was never prepared for anything and take away his ink pen, or other pencil, or other writing instrument that was unauthorized to complete the Iowa Test of Basic Skills [ITBS] ‘score card.’ Sharpies had not been invented, yet.

Most students in Iowa, and across the nation might be familiar with the ITBS. “The ITBS tests are designed for kindergarten through 8th grade students and include nine themes: vocabulary, word analysis, listening, reading comprehension, language, math, social studies, science, and sources of information.”

I can remember Sister Williametta being very proud of me that I scored in the ninety-ninth percentile of the social studies category, and above ninety in every other category – except reading comprehension. My scores on reading comprehension were in the thirties. As of this day, I can’t imagine how that could happen. But I have a theory.

In order to complete the math questions about a train leaving Philadelphia at 3:00 pm traveling west at 50 mph, and a train leaving St. Louis at 5:00 pm traveling east at 40 mph, etc., you have to comprehend what the question is seeking and produce the correct answer. I aced those questions that require some comprehension. So why did I not do well in comprehension?

The New York Times recently posted a few new questions of the recently revised SAT exam. It’s all digital now. I got around SAT testing by taking a class here, a college class there, and a college class in between. When it came time for entrance exam it was obvious that I could achieve at the college level. So, I accepted the challenge to try a few questions on the part of the exam that the NY Times provided. I failed comprehension.

There have been people who insist that I may have ADHD, ADD, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). I have never been diagnosed with any of the mental deficiencies, but I probably have or still experience symptoms of each. Although I am not a behavioral health professional [thank God], I do believe the low scores on comprehension have something to do with one or more of those three mental disorders. So what? I manage to enjoy life.

Give me something challenging that doesn’t have to do with mechanical tinkering and I will try to work on it, like the trains above. But comprehend some boring story in which I’m given a sentence or two. Forget it. Boring! Often, I can see where two answers appear to be the same.

I haven’t changed much since 7th grade. Oh, I can comprehend what I write, or read a book and comprehend the storyline. However, I continue to procrastinate, get lost in thoughts, and move to a different task before finishing another.

By the way, if you think the answer to the train question is Indianapolis, you could be correct. But I would need more information, such as: how many stops did each train make? Each must have had to switch crews, refuel, wait for a coal train (coal trains have priority), or switch boxcars on a siding before reaching their respective destination. I always thought of those possibilities.

Don’t think too much. And “get that eraser out of your mouth!”

***

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Garbage Day

National Football League quarterback Kirk Cousins is leaving the Minnesota Vikings after signing a contract with the Atlanta Falcons for 4-years and $180 million dollars with $100 million of it guaranteed. It’s quite a contract. He had stated earlier in the year that the money wasn’t important to him, he had enough money. I mistook him to mean he possessed a loyalty to the team and the players.

Loyalty, like integrity, is a thing of the past. I realized the slow death of these outdated values almost thirty years ago when the garbage removal company called and sent threatening letters to me about a nonexistent garbage bin after I sold my home in Plymouth, Minnesota. At that time, garbage removal was done by private contractors. We and many of our neighbors contracted with Randy’s Sanitation. A competitor offered the neighborhood 3 weeks of free garbage removal along with a new blue garbage bin that rolled to the curb. My neighbors all took the bait and the neighborhood was soon littered with shiny new bins on garbage day. Now Randy’s was a family-owned business who had given us excellent service, so I remained loyal to them and learned to live with my old, beat-up, store-bought bin that I dragged to the end of the driveway come rain, snow or dark of night.

Time passed and Randy’s decided to fight back and wooed some of my neighbors back with their own shiny brown garbage bins that rolled to the curb. Since I was already a customer, the new bin was never offered to me. This didn’t bother me, but it took far too long to convince Randy’s that I wasn’t moving away with one of their promotional bins, I had simply been a loyal and clearly unappreciated customer.

Maybe loyalty just isn’t sexy when compared to the seven deadly sins. Lust, gluttony, sloth, wrath, envy, pride and greed are even enjoyable to say. You can really sink your teeth into enunciating them versus the drab loyalty and integrity. So, I understand Cousins forfeiting loyalty and giving into greed. It’s so very tempting.

***

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A Retired Ritual

Some traditions vanish before you think to tell your children about them. On the other hand, I doubt very much that my children or grandchildren would be interested in hearing about the anachronistic ritual of a chivaree. [Alteration of the French word charivari, with a Latin root meaning “headache.”]

I participated in one chivaree, or shivaree as it’s spelled in some backwater regions of the country. I barely remember it. Mom got a few of us kids and passed out pots, pans, kettles, or anything metal along with a metal spoon, and herded us two blocks south to a basement house. We banged on those metal kitchen cookware instruments as loud as we could. I must have been very young because I don’t remember who the newly-wed couple was.

What I do remember is that the couple who were being serenaded by our racket were just married, and mom called it a chivaree. That is the first and last time I was ever involved in such a ritualistic, yet enthralling, activity.

A chivaree was a traditional custom in the Midwest, the hills of the Carolinas, and parts of New England in the 19th century, and it continued into the first part of the 20th century. I may have attended the final chivaree in the early 1950s.

“Shivaree is defined as ‘a loud and purposely frightening community party, forced upon newlyweds a short time after their wedding.’” It often took place around midnight, or at least after dark, and besides the banging of pots and pans, guns were fired into the air and people pounded on the windows. The one I attended was in the evening, probably right after the sun set and there were no guns.

The couple subjected to the chivaree are expected to invite all the revelers in for alcoholic drinks and candy for the kids. I don’t recall getting any candy, but I can guarantee that the adults with us kids that night partied hardy, while the kids were sent home.

Depending upon where you lived a chivaree might be called “bellings,” “hornings,” or “serenades.” But the tradition is similar in all instances.

I can’t imagine you could successfully chivaree some couple in today’s world. Try that in a suburban atmosphere. We already know that the activity in an urban area would have you in handcuffs before the couple could make it to the door to ask you to keep it down. If everyone in a small town was in on the secret, it might work out, but I wouldn’t count on it.

“The merits of a shivaree were numerous. Everyone in the community participated-young and old, male and female. The newlyweds certainly met their neighbors in a friendly if raucous manner and were, in turn, properly initiated into the community. Another important feature of the custom was the collective good cheer and feeling of community everyone shared.”

The ritual often began a little after the happy couple had turned off the lights on their wedding night, or shortly thereafter.

Considering all the old-time rituals that have died out through the years, I’m glad that this one disappeared. Or did it.

***

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First Book Report in 60 Years

Book reports are something for grade school students, specifically seventh and eighth-graders. The last book report I probably wrote was about a book that I thoroughly enjoyed. I had checked a book out of the St. Ann’s Grade School library that was a true story about a physician who helped a man heal his stomach wound, the result of an accidental shooting that put a hole in the victim’s stomach. The descriptive images within that book remain within the parameters of my memory, although slightly askew. Nonetheless, this is my stab at a book report since grade school.

TITLE: The Fisherman

AUTHOR: John Langan. Langan lives with his wife, children and pets in the Hudson River Valley, east of the Catskill Mountains.

PUBLICATION DATE: June 30, 2016

Written in the first person, The Fisherman is a story within a story.

Abe is an employee of IBM in Poughkeepsie, NY. He had a wonderful but brief marriage to Marie. She developed cancer and died. Overcome with grief, Abe takes up fishing. The sport leads him to several locations throughout the Middle Hudson River area, particularly around Woodstock and the Ashokan Reservoir.

A coworker of Abe, Dan, experienced a terrible tragedy when his wife and two sons were killed in an accident at an intersection without a traffic light. Although a traffic light was installed after the crash, Dan continued to sit at the intersection and stare at the scene where the accident occurred.

Abe invites Dan to go fishing with him, thinking that the experience may help Dan in the same way it helped him. He didn’t think Dan would take him up on the offer, but to his surprise, Dan readily accepted the invitation. After fishing the usual places in the area, Dan said that he wanted to try their luck at Dutchman’s Creek, a rather obscure fleck on the map.

On a rainy Saturday morning they ventured out to fish in the creek. They stopped at a diner and had breakfast. Howard, the diner’s owner, came out to refill coffee cups and struck up a conversation with them. He told the story of Dutchman’s Creek as it was told to him by a woman who lived through an eerie era of the building of the Ashokan Reservoir in the early 1900s. The story within the story as it was told to Howard was about the horror and troubles surrounding the labor camps, especially as it pertained to a man known as Der Fisher.

There is something strange about Dutchman’s Creek, and it all pertains to the story Howard related to Abe and Dan. The creek has magical elements, and while Dan is taken in, Abe maintains his wits, even with extreme difficulty.

When Gregg gave me this book for Christmas, I was skeptical. However, the writing is superb, the story – both of them – is thrilling, and the genre is similar to Stephen King and Dean Koontz, but at the same time, different. It’s a dark thriller.

Laird Barron, author of X’s for Eyes, says the “The Fisherman is an epic, yet intimate, horror novel. . .. What you get is A River Runs Through It . . . Straight to hell.” I could not top that description.

John Langan’s descriptive writing gives your imagination free reign to feel the action and see the events as they occur. You can believe you are a part of the story – both of them.

***

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By the dawn’s early light

The Iowa Legislature is often a source of frustration and agony for many who follow the process, and particularly for those involved in the process. But it can also be a source of great entertainment as long as you don’t take things too seriously.

For instance, a bill that addresses persons selected by the general assembly to represent Iowa at the “convention called by the United States Congress to propose amendments to the United States Constitution” in accordance with Article V, has begun to move in the House Committee on State Government. Last year, the bill was moved out of committee but failed to be debated on the floor of the House. What is strange about this bill is that one of the lobbyists is Rick Santorum. Yes! That Rick Santorum, representing the Convention of States Action, has declared in support of the bill. On the other end of the lobbying spectrum, declared against passage of the bill, is the Iowa Minutemen Civil Defense Corp, in addition to the Iowa Chapter of the Sierra Club. Strange bedfellows, indeed.

The so-called purpose of the Article V convention is to take power away from the federal government and give more control to the states and local government. Speaking of local control, this general assembly has been pretty consistent in its efforts to squash local control. Amendments to Iowa’s Constitution, Amendment Twenty-Five (municipal home rule adopted in the 1960s) and Amendment Thirty-Seven (county home rule adopted in the late 1970s) have been ignored in several bills, one of which is a bill to reinstate the death penalty.

Supposedly, assuming that county attorneys in Iowa’s largest counties are affiliated with the Democratic Party, Senate Study Bill 3085, a bill reestablishing the death penalty in Iowa, provides that “when in the attorney general’s judgment, the interest of the state requires the attorney general to intervene on behalf of the county attorney,” the attorney general will prosecute the case, but there is no mention in the bill that the attorney general, or even the state, will assume the costs of the prosecution. The expense will remain the responsibility of the county. The hypocrisy in this Legislature is immense.

Upon having several laws questioned as to their constitutionality, some legislators have filed amicus curiae (friend of the court) briefs in certain lawsuits to defend their legislation actions, or reactions. There is a system of checks and balances involved in our three separate and distinct divisions of government, but the judicial branch is considered the little sister who needs guidance in the eyes of legislators “who make the law.” There is a study bill that would require a plaintiff to provide “notice to the general assembly in actions regarding the constitutionality of a statute.”

You can understand why the general assembly wants to be aware of lawsuits challenging the constitutionality of laws made by the lawmakers. The Iowa and U.S. Constitutions get in the way of the Ten Commandments. A bill that would require public school students to sing at least one verse of the National Anthem every day, study the anthem, and the history of it, had a discussion by a subcommittee. It may not see the light of day, or if you prefer, the dawn’s early light, but it doesn’t apply to private school students. They have the First Commandment.

And now that your attention is tuned in to religion, a subcommittee meeting was held on the definition of “woman.” Although the chairperson of the meeting was mum on the purpose for this necessary description in Iowa law (“Woman” means an adult female human), a woman at the meeting said that “God has made the definition of a woman clear through both special relations, scripture, and general revelation creation.” Amber Williams, an Iowa resident said “He made her, then made him. Male and female, he created them.” Obviously, Ms. Williams has not consulted the biblical Book of Genesis where God made man first and called him Adam, and then made woman from Adam’s rib.

Staying on the subject of religion, students must need religious guidance, and just about anyone will justify this need. A bill that passed out of a subcommittee would allow schools to employ without salary or remuneration a chaplain (not to be confused with Charlie Chaplin, who would seem to be a better alternative – kids need humor, too). The chaplain does not need to “have a license, endorsement, certification, authorization or statement of recognition issued by the board of educational examiners.” But if you’re thinking that this would be some sort of cool job where you could dress in black and talk to students freely, beware. The position does require a background check.

The amusement and entertainment provided by the Iowa Legislature is free of charge to watch. If the governor is not speaking, seats are available without reservations. The cost of this enjoyment comes when you check your rights at the basement door.

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This article first appeared in the February 2024 issue of the Prairie Progressive. The Prairie Progressive is Iowa’s oldest progressive newsletter, founded by Jeff Cox in 1986.
It is funded entirely by subscriptions from our readers. Editor: Dave Leshtz.

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