{"id":1912,"date":"2021-02-24T18:49:48","date_gmt":"2021-02-25T00:49:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/?p=1912"},"modified":"2021-02-24T18:49:48","modified_gmt":"2021-02-25T00:49:48","slug":"wishing-you-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/?p=1912","title":{"rendered":"Wishing you enough"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>We celebrated Stephanie\u2019s birthday last August in quaint, humble style.\u00a0 I bought her a cake, but instead of the usual \u201cHappy Birthday\u201d greeting, the top of the cake was decorated with \u201cWishing you enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

We\u2019ll be married for 16 years this coming October, but we\u2019ve been together for over seventeen years.\u00a0 We became acquaintances working on a legislative project [felon voting rights] back in 2004.<\/p>\n

In November of 2003, Stephanie had called me to ask if I would be the speaker for the Annual December Luncheon of the Metro Des Moines League of Women Voters<\/a>.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t in the office that day, and a note was left for me to call her back.\u00a0 My office has never been a neatly organized area of work.\u00a0 Below is a link to a photo of Einstein\u2019s desk on the day after he died. He was much neater than me.<\/p>\n

Einstein’s desk<\/a><\/p>\n

By the time I found the note and got back to Stephanie, she had already found someone else to speak \u2013 Brian Gentry, Governor Vilsack\u2019s<\/a> legal counsel.\u00a0 She thought it was cute that I returned the call (too late). \u00a0I informed her: \u201cwell, I am going to attend because I would like to hear what Mr. Gentry has to say about this issue.\u201d<\/p>\n

I showed up with my colleague and \u201cgood trouble-in-arms-comrade\u201d Rev. Carlos Jayne<\/a>.\u00a0 Both of us joined the League of Women Voters that afternoon in the Tea Room at Younkers in downtown Des Moines.\u00a0 It was the first time I had seen Stephanie, and my impression was that she was some banker, lawyer, or doctor\u2019s wife with nothing else to do in life.\u00a0 But she was pretty and intellectually charming.\u00a0 She thought I was gay.\u00a0 I worked for the ACLU, had an earring, long hair and wasn\u2019t married.\u00a0 Fair enough.\u00a0 We were both a \u2018little\u2019 wrong.\u00a0 She was still pretty and intellectually charming, and I was unmarried with long hair and an earring.<\/p>\n

It was a few months later, after we kept showing up at the same meetings that we began to know a little more about each other.\u00a0 The late Judie Hoffman<\/a>, former lobbyist for the Iowa League of Women Voters<\/a>, invited me to speak at the ILWV annual Issues Briefing on the subject of legislation that would allow ex-felons to vote.\u00a0 Stephanie and I talked for a while after the meeting on the same issue.\u00a0 She was passionate about this matter.\u00a0 I began to get passionate about her.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t long after that Issues Briefing meeting that I took a chance and emailed her, asking her to dinner.\u00a0 Yes, brave, was I not?\u00a0 She responded by telling me that she could offer only a sporadic friendship.\u00a0 I accepted that offer.\u00a0 We became friends.<\/p>\n

We had a few dates that Stephanie said were not really dates, they were outings, or something like that.\u00a0 I considered them to be, well, dates.\u00a0 We enjoyed road trips, visits to the Des Moines Art Center<\/a>, and food.\u00a0 We are both foodies.\u00a0 Our favorite road trip was traveling to Elk Horn for the greatest buffet.\u00a0 Unfortunately, that restaurant closed.<\/p>\n

After a few months, I shared the following email with her:<\/p>\n

My sister sent this to me.\u00a0 I think it’s beautiful.\u00a0 Stephanie, “I wish you enough!”<\/p>\n

At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her plane’s departure and standing near the door, he said to his daughter, “I love you; I wish you enough”. She said, “Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy.” They kissed good-bye and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?” “Yes, I have,” I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So, I knew what this man was experiencing. “Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?” I asked. “I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral,” he said. “When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?” He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. “When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them,” he continued and then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory. “I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Good-bye.” He then began to sob and walked away. My friends and loved ones, I wish you ENOUGH!!! They say, “It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.” Send this phrase to the people you’ll never forget and also remember to send it to the person who sent it to you. It’s a short message to let them know that you’ll never forget them. If you don’t send it to anyone, it means you’re in a hurry and that you’ve forgotten your friends. Take the time to live!\u00a0 Take care.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t long after we kept wishing each other enough that we began declaring our love for each other.<\/p>\n

Although I love Stephanie to pieces, and tell her so every day, I will always wish her enough!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We celebrated Stephanie\u2019s birthday last August in quaint, humble style.\u00a0 I bought her a cake, but instead of the usual \u201cHappy Birthday\u201d greeting, the top of the cake was decorated with \u201cWishing you enough.\u201d We\u2019ll be married for 16 years … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[823,821,825,824,822],"class_list":["post-1912","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-brian-gentry","tag-governor-vilsack","tag-iowa-league-of-women-voters","tag-judie-hoffman","tag-rev-carlos-jayne"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1912","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1912"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1912\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1914,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1912\/revisions\/1914"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1912"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1912"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1912"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}