{"id":1898,"date":"2020-11-19T15:35:06","date_gmt":"2020-11-19T21:35:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/?p=1898"},"modified":"2020-11-19T15:35:06","modified_gmt":"2020-11-19T21:35:06","slug":"homers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/?p=1898","title":{"rendered":"Homer’s"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>There is a bar in Vail, Iowa, called \u201cHomer\u2019s.\u201d\u00a0 The bar has been there since I was a kid.\u00a0 The owners have changed, the name hasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Francis Devaney was an old bachelor that owned the original Homer\u2019s.\u00a0 His nickname was Homer.<\/p>\n

Almost everyone who grew up in Vail has a very good memory of Homer\u2019s.\u00a0 As I first knew it, the bar was on the west wall, you entered from the east.\u00a0 Later, he had the bar run east to west on the north side.\u00a0 The wall had a mirror, like most bars, and the walls were plastered with cutesy little signs, like: \u201cThe bank and I made an agreement.\u00a0 They don\u2019t sell beer; I don\u2019t loan money.\u201d\u00a0 And another that read: \u201cHelen Waite is our credit manager.\u00a0 If you want credit, you\u2019ll have to go to Helen Waite.\u201d<\/p>\n

My favorite memory of the place was when I was in my teens.\u00a0 I must have been fourteen or fifteen.\u00a0 I played pool, pinball, cards with the old men, and, when Homer would get sloppy drunk, I tended bar.\u00a0 Imagine walking into a bar today and seeing a fourteen-year-old boy behind the bar asking, \u201cwhat\u2019ll ya have?\u201d<\/p>\n

Most people drank beer.\u00a0 That was no problem.\u00a0 If it was a bottle or a can, it was in the cooler.\u00a0 If the customer wanted a draft, a basically clean glass was available and you tilted it under the tap, let a little run down the drain, and fill the glass until foam reached the top \u2013 or over the top.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 Eventually, you had to wipe the bar off with a wet, dirty, off-white rag.\u00a0 If the bar became too sticky, you might have to find a new rag and break it in.<\/p>\n

Often, Homer would be passed out in a booth.\u00a0 Or, he might be sitting at another bar, disturbing any of the other bar\u2019s customers.\u00a0 That\u2019s when some of them would leave to go to Homer\u2019s.\u00a0 This was always after dark, and the crowd wasn\u2019t large at that time of day.\u00a0 Homer\u2019s was mostly a daytime bar.<\/p>\n

One night, Homer closed up in a hurry (it\u2019s not like he ever swept or cleaned the bar before closing) and told me drive him and Ray Norton to Denison in Homer\u2019s car, a 1958 Chevy.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a license, just a learner\u2019s permit.\u00a0 I drove, Homer in the middle, and Ray in the passenger seat.\u00a0 We all had a beer.\u00a0 As we were driving down Highway 30 west, entering town near the Lucky Lanes Bowling Alley, Norton rolled down the window and threw out an empty beer can.<\/p>\n

\u201cNorton!\u201d\u00a0 I yelled.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s a highway patrolman behind us!\u201d\u00a0 Norton, with his permanent sad puppy eyes laughed and make a smart-ass remark.\u00a0 The trooper didn\u2019t pull us over, thank God.<\/p>\n

We pulled in the Oasis parking lot (Yes, in Denison, Iowa, there is a bar called the Oasis, and it was there long before Garth Brooks wrote his famous song Friends In Low Places<\/a>).\u00a0 Once inside, Homer went to the bar while Norton and I sat at a table in the darkest part of the bar.\u00a0 Homer came to the table with three beers.\u00a0 I drank that beer with no problem.\u00a0 Besides Millie, the bartender, we were the only people in the bar.\u00a0 Millie is another story for a future blog.<\/p>\n

After the Oasis, we traveled uptown to a bar that was owned by Crawford County\u2019s only black man.\u00a0 I had no trouble getting served there, either.\u00a0 But when we hit the third bar of the night, I was refused service.\u00a0 Well!\u00a0 We didn\u2019t give them any of our business!<\/p>\n

I know the time period was school time, and it wasn\u2019t a weekend night.\u00a0 I can\u2019t remember the ride home that night or going to school the next day.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it was because I had too much to drink.\u00a0 The memory lapse is most likely caused by time.<\/p>\n

Many kids in Vail will tell you that they had no trouble getting beer from Homer.\u00a0 You see, Homer was a dirty old pervert.\u00a0 He greeted every man by calling him false face, and he called young teenage boys the same.\u00a0 But with boys, he added, \u201chow\u2019s it hangin\u2019?\u201d\u00a0 He would reach to grab you by the genitals, but I\u2019m not sure he actually grabbed anyone.\u00a0 At least, they\u2019re not telling.\u00a0 \u201cGetin\u2019 any?\u201d was another phrase he used a lot.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know of anyone under age that was ever caught with beer they obtained from Homer.\u00a0 And there was plenty.<\/p>\n

After my stint in the Army, I stopped at Homer\u2019s a few times a week.\u00a0 One evening, a guy I once worked with stopped at our house (I was living with mom).\u00a0 I suggested we go get a beer, and I suggested Homer\u2019s because I knew it was quiet and we could talk and hear each other.\u00a0 So, we sat at the bar and ordered a beer (in a bottle \u2013 I had to warn Steve not to order a draw).\u00a0 We were the only customers.<\/p>\n

All of sudden the door swung open and two guys came rushing in and headed right for the pool table.\u00a0 They dived under it.\u00a0 I knew one of them.\u00a0 The other would eventually become my brother-in-law.\u00a0 Looking out to the street we could see about six or seven cars pull up to the curb, in front of the bar, and across the street.\u00a0 Each car had at least three passengers, some more.<\/p>\n

The people getting out of the cars assembled in front of the bar.\u00a0 The door opened and a few big, burly, husky guys stepped in first.\u00a0 \u201cOh shit!\u00a0 This isn\u2019t looking good,\u201d I told Steve.\u00a0 About that time Homer comes from around the bar with a big revolver.\u00a0 I had never seen a pistol so big.<\/p>\n

He told those guys to get the hell out of his bar.\u00a0 Steve and I didn\u2019t know what the hell to do.\u00a0 We sat. Still.\u00a0 The crowd backed out of the door and gathered in the street.\u00a0 Homer pointed the weapon at the two guys under the pool table and told them to get the hell out, too.\u00a0 The guy I knew said something like, \u201cThey\u2019ll kill us if we go out there.\u201d\u00a0 And Homer replied, \u201cthem or me!\u201d<\/p>\n

They scurried out the back door.\u00a0 Homer went back behind the bar, placed the gun in a drawer, and told us he was closing.\u00a0 No problem.<\/p>\n

I never saw or heard from Steve again \u2013 ever!<\/p>\n

Today, Homer\u2019s<\/a> is much different place.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been in it for the past twenty years, but from what I\u2019ve heard, it serves good food and the place is clean and clientele has changed.\u00a0 Homer served food, too, I guess.\u00a0 If you liked pickled pig\u2019s feet out of jar, or pickled deviled eggs (also out of jar), or a packaged Slim Jim, Homer had it.\u00a0 Not that I ever tried it.<\/p>\n

There are so many stories and memories around Homer\u2019s.\u00a0 I can see that this is going to be Part I.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There is a bar in Vail, Iowa, called \u201cHomer\u2019s.\u201d\u00a0 The bar has been there since I was a kid.\u00a0 The owners have changed, the name hasn\u2019t. Francis Devaney was an old bachelor that owned the original Homer\u2019s.\u00a0 His nickname was … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[799,800,802,801],"class_list":["post-1898","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-homer-devaney","tag-ray-norton","tag-the-oasis","tag-vail-iowa"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1898","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1898"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1898\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1899,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1898\/revisions\/1899"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1898"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1898"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1898"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}