As I\nget older, I notice that I am becoming one of those old people that I despised\nas a young boy. There are several things\nthat piss me off, and I think I should jot them down. You may be able to empathize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Drivers<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Certain\ndrivers drive me crazy. Okay, maybe all\ndrivers drive me crazy. Why am I the\nonly decent automobile driver out there? \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n The driver that pisses me off more than others is the guy who speeds up in the inner lane to pass me, cuts over to my lane, and slows to a complete stop before making a right turn.\u00a0 That goes for the guy that makes a left turn when he passed me in the right lane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In\nsecond place is the person who is in front of me at a stop light. The light turns green and they sit\nthere. They may be reading a text or\nemail, or just day dreaming. Honking is\nalmost a self-irritant (I don\u2019t like honking horns, either \u2013 especially the\nHonk, Honk, Honk of a car that is being stolen \u2013 never). The minute the person in front of you takes\noff, the propulsion is that of a rocket. \nYou never see them again, until you get to the next stop light. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Third\nplace is the tailgater who finally speeds around you, fingering you as he goes\nby, and two miles up the road he\u2019s next to you at the same stoplight. I have been taught not to taunt. He could have a gun. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This\ncategory could be pages, so I have decided to make it part of a series.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shopping<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDid you find everything you need?\u201d\u00a0 I often say \u201cno\u201d whether I did or not.\u00a0 The answer is always an amazing.\u00a0 \u201cOh!\u201d\u00a0 As the clerk continues to scan items.\u00a0 Many retailers have taught the clerk what to ask, but never gave the minimum wage earner a lesson on what to do if someone answers anything but \u201cyes\u201d.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n An\noccasional bright clerk may call the manager over, or direct you to the\ncourtesy counter. When you discover that\n\u2013 yes, they are out of that product \u2013 the conditioned reply is: \u201cWe\u2019ll have it\nin the morning.\u201d The next time I get\nthat answer I\u2019m going to have them deliver it to me. I don\u2019t feel like I have to return to the\nsame store in the morning, spending about a dollar in gas, when I might save 20\ncents on the out-of-stock item. Better\nyet, I think I\u2019ll tell the manager that I\u2019ll just stop at the competitor\u2019s store\ndown the street and pick it up there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Grocery stores hire many high school students.\u00a0 Those students have been taught to converse with the customer.\u00a0 My desire is for the student-clerk to pay attention to what they are doing.\u00a0 \u201cThat tomato juice is on sale for 79\u00a2.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOh\u201d, she says.\u00a0 \u201cIs it in the ad?\u201d\u00a0 I think employees should be required to read the advertisements before their shift starts (and get paid for it) each week the store begins a new week of discounts.\u00a0 At the least, people working in a department, like meats or produce, should have a comprehensive idea of what is on sale in their respective departments during a given week.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDo\nyou have big plans for the weekend?\u201d \nThat question from a teenager was suggested by management to keep up a\nconversation with the customer. One of\nthese days I want to respond with: \u201cWell, that depends. What are you doing on Saturday night?\u201d I would probably get arrested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Television\nCommercials with old songs<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\nbegan with a pickup commercial years ago in which Chevy used Bob Segar\u2019s \u2018Like\na Rock\u2019. I once liked that song. Chevy drove it into my brain so much I now\ndespise it. Applebee\u2019s is using a\npopular song now. And Ford is attempting\nto ruin every Queen song I\u2019ve ever loved \u2013 which was all of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Lectures\nwith a Q & A<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I\ndon\u2019t attend many lectures anymore, and maybe it\u2019s because I get irritated at\npeople who stand up during the Q & A at the end and give a 6-minute\ndescription of something that happened in their life to relate to the\nlecturer\u2019s subject (even though it\u2019s a stretch to make the comparison). It usually ends by having the lecturer asking\nif the person standing has a question. \nIt\u2019s bad enough when the commenter says \u2018no\u2019 and sits down or wraps it\nup. It\u2019s a 10 on the Pain Scale when the\nperson stumbles over trying to come up with a question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Overturning\nthe Tables at the Temple<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Store\nmanagers that allow nonprofit groups to solicit outside the store\u2019s doors should\nbe fired. I don\u2019t appreciate being\ngreeted by a mob of Girl Scouts asking if I want to buy overpriced\ncookies. I lie and tell them that I buy\nthem from my daughter. So what if my\ndaughter is 40-years-old. The scouts\u2019\nmoms are reaching that age. And aren\u2019t\nthey the cookie pushers with the idea to hassle store customers going in and\ncoming out of the store? <\/p>\n\n\n\n The\nKnights of Columbus want to give me a Tootsie Roll. Yeah! \n\u201cHere, have a 5 oz. roll of guilt. \nIt\u2019s free!\u201d Sure, it is. If you happen to be Roman Catholic that guilt\nof turning it down and not contributing will last through your death bed and\ninto the first 4 days of purgatory. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You\nmay like eating the free nibbles at COSTCO and in the grocery stores, but I\nstay away. It\u2019s not that I reject free\nfood, it\u2019s the problem of cluttering up the aisle while pretending to think the\ntiny sample is the greatest thing since sliced bread, even though the sampler\ndoesn\u2019t buy the product. I hate to be one of those aisle cloggers. I have to get ahead of you in the check out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What\ndo you like, Marty?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I\nlike kids. They can make you laugh more\nthan most comedians.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We\nlive next to a licensed day care center. \nThe facility has about 50 kids, from infants to 12-year-olds. If you can remember watching the Art\nLinkletter show back in the 60s, you can relate to what I get almost every day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Stephanie\nand I watched a dog overnight for a friend a few weeks ago. Four or five children came running up to the\nfence. \u201cWhat\u2019s its name?\u201d They were all asking. \u201cZoe,\u201d I said, and kept on walking. All of the children in the group began\nyelling, \u201cBye, doggie!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Even\nthough the children can keep me laughing, they can also keep me humble. One of the teachers suggested the kids say\n\u201cHi\u201d to the neighbor. \u201cHi, old man!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Crap. I\u2019ve become that old man I never wanted to\nbe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" As I get older, I notice that I am becoming one of those old people that I despised as a young boy. There are several things that piss me off, and I think I should jot them down. You may … Continue reading