{"id":1661,"date":"2019-07-10T14:09:05","date_gmt":"2019-07-10T19:09:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/?p=1661"},"modified":"2019-07-10T14:24:05","modified_gmt":"2019-07-10T19:24:05","slug":"indoctrination","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/?p=1661","title":{"rendered":"Indoctrination"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The\nUnited States Military is at its best when indoctrinating troops.  You\u2019ll only make a mistake once.  I had more shit placed in my brain during\nnine weeks of basic training than in four years of high school.  Of course, if you look at a previous blog (I Went to School \u2013 Sometimes<\/a>)  you\u2019ll see that it shouldn\u2019t be surprising,\nconsidering how little I attended.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\nlearn cadence.  \u201cHup, two, three,\nfaw!\u201d  Several recruits could not get\nthat down.  So, we had a poem we recited\nas we marched along to accommodate those who couldn\u2019t march without a\nbeat.  The drill sergeant [DS} would\nrecite the first line and we would repeat it, except for the last line:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DS:\n\u201cA yellow bird,\u201d PLATOON: \u201cA yellow bird,\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DS:\n\u201cWith a yellow bill,\u201d PLATOON: \u201cWith a yellow bill,\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DS:\n\u201cLanded on\u201d PLATOON: \u201cLanded on\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DS:\n\u201cMy windowsill.\u201d PLATOON: \u201cMy windowsill.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DS:\n\u201cI lured it in\u201d PLATOON: \u201cI lured it in\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DS:\n\u201cWith a piece of bread,\u201d PLATOON: \u201cWith a piece of bread,\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

PLATOON:\n\u201cAnd then I smashed its FUCKING HEAD!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cruel,\nhuh?  The Subliminal message is that\nkilling can be fun.  Of course, they were\nteaching us to kill, not write poetry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One\nday we were out in the woods, pretending we were in a war zone with lots of\ngreen and brown stuff \u2013 like Vietnam.  We\nwere told to be on the lookout for snipers. \nSuddenly, we heard what sounded like a machine gun firing at us.  \u201cTake cover!\u201d someone yelled.  The only cover near me was a giant ant\nhill.  This photo is the size of the ant\nhills in the forest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Nope, I\u2019m gonna die.\u00a0 I told myself, \u2018I am not going to jump behind or in that ant hill.\u2019\u00a0 If the machine gun bullets are real, the idiot responsible for my death will have to answer to my mom and her congressman.\u00a0 I did know that Iowa\u2019s former governor Harold E. Hughes was our U.S. Senator.\u00a0 Everyone in Vail knew that he was a former drunk, and they all had a personal relationship with him at one time or another.\u00a0 I hoped he would have been on my side.\u00a0 I can\u2019t remember what I did, but I do remember that I did not get near that ant hill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\nabout smoking?  I entered the U.S. Army\nsmoking cigarettes.  Throughout the first\nfew weeks we came to a halt going somewhere and the DS would say, \u201cSmoke \u2018em if\nya got \u2018em.\u201d  By the time you got a cigarette\nout of your pocket, lit it, and took a puff, you could hear the DS yell \u201cput\n\u2018em out.\u201d  Let me tell you, you don\u2019t\ntoss the butt on the ground.  Do I have\nto tell you what humiliation you have to endure by being so stupid as to\nlitter?  It never happened to me.  After a couple weeks I switched to chewing\ntobacco instead of cigarettes.  Red Man\nChewing Tobacco was my preference.  I\nwent back to cigarettes upon leaving camp. \nI didn\u2019t think it would be a good thing to spit on the plane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another\nday I was summoned to the captain\u2019s office. \n\u201cWhat the hell did I do now?\u201d was all I could think.  I had a telephone call.  My first thought, someone must have\ndied.  Second thought: they\u2019re going to\nfree me!  No, as the captain handed me the\nphone, he said to be sure to say \u201csir\u201d.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\nwas a captain from another unit.  I knew\nhim from when he lived across the street from us growing up in Vail.  The conversation was rather stiff, since the\ncaptain and two sergeants were listening in on our banter.  He invited me to have dinner with him and his\nwife in their quarters the following Saturday. \n\u201cYes, sir!  I would like\nthat.\u201d  When I told my comrades in the\nbarracks, after they incorrectly asked what trouble I caused, they devised a\nplan.  I can\u2019t say that I approved, but I\nobviously had little choice.  When\nSaturday arrived, I was instructed to wear my khakis \u2013 brown suits, not dress\nblues.  Supposedly, Saturday was a dress\ndown day.  I had a long list of shit to\nbuy at the PX and a pocketful of cash.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nwent outside at the appointed time and stood on the curb.  Lenny drove up and began to get into the\ncar.  Oh, shit.  I was told I had to get back out and\nsalute.  I should have known that.  Hindsight tells me that his instruction to me\nto salute was not his arrogance or ego, but that I was most likely being\nwatched from the captain\u2019s quarters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\nhad grilled hamburgers at his house.  I\nwas about as uncomfortable as you can get. \nI\u2019m not sure what caused my anxiety, but I was also told that my platoon\nwas originally scheduled to be in his company. \nIt was an obvious explanation.  He\nwas the captain in charge of Echo Company and I was in Charlie Company.  Our badges over the pocket opposite our name\nhad sewn in E-2-1.  That would have been\nLenny\u2019s company.  We were actually in\nC-1-2.  It was confusing until I was told\nabout the whole mess.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The\ncaptain asked me if I wanted a ride home. \nI declined and told him I would really like to take the bus.  I explained that I wanted to get a few things\nat the PX, and he understood.  You know,\nI needed to get some more Red Man Tobacco. \nI got a lecture on chewing.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\npurchased so many items I was beginning to wonder if I might need a cab \u2013 or a\ndeuce and a half (that\u2019s slang for a 2 \u00bd ton Army truck \u2013 but actually, there are\nno trucks on the base except for the one on top of the flag pole.  Long story[1]<\/a>).  I rode the bus with a huge plastic bag of\nitems sitting in the seat in front of me. \nI had to defend it with my life. \nOne guy wanted me to buy a radio, another wanted a camera.  Most of it was junk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The\nlast time I saw Lenny, I made a snide remark. \nI need to lighten up.  It wasn\u2019t\nhis fault I had to salute him.  It was\nindoctrination. 
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

[1]<\/a> ‘Truck’<\/strong> is the term for the finial \u2014 or ball \u2014 on top of the base\nheadquarters’ flagpole. It’s kind of a trick question because every other\n‘truck<\/strong>‘ is either a militaryor\nprivately-owned vehicle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The United States Military is at its best when indoctrinating troops.  You\u2019ll only make a mistake once.  I had more shit placed in my brain during nine weeks of basic training than in four years of high school.  Of course, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[651,650],"class_list":["post-1661","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-harold-e-hughes","tag-pacific-northwest-ant-hill"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1661","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1661"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1661\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1668,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1661\/revisions\/1668"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1661"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1661"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1661"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}