{"id":1637,"date":"2019-06-12T11:22:49","date_gmt":"2019-06-12T16:22:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/?p=1637"},"modified":"2019-06-12T12:11:55","modified_gmt":"2019-06-12T17:11:55","slug":"ryan-you-cheated","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/?p=1637","title":{"rendered":"“Ryan, You Cheated!”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

In a\nMay 8 (Run, Ryan, Run<\/a>) article, I wrote\nabout some Army Basic Training events that attempted to carve me into the man\nthe Army wanted me to be.  I hope my\nreaders don\u2019t think that was the end of it. \nThe U.S. Army truly tried to mold me into a fighting machine.  However, it\u2019s difficult to make steel out of\nrubber.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like\nme, you may have heard about some things that occur in Basic Training that have\nbeen passed down for years.  The first\nexample is that the Army has \u201cNO GUNS!\u201d \nNo.  Guns are those big things on\nbattleships that fire massive pieces of ammunition toward shore or other\nships.  In the Army, we call our handheld\ndefensive machine a rifle.  Prior to\nbeing drafted, I had heard of the shameful act of having a soldier stand in\nfront of everyone with his pants\u2019 zipper down, holding his manhood with one\nhand, his rifle in the opposite hand, and reciting over and over and over\nagain:  \u201cThis is my rifle; this is my\ngun: This one\u2019s for fighting; this one\u2019s for fun.\u201d  I never thought it was true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes,\nit is true.  One of the guys in my\nplatoon had to do it.  It was disgusting.  They made him stand out in front of the Mess\nHall as we were entering for a meal.  He\nwas a native-American from a reservation in South Dakota.  He got the last laugh.  He was medically or generally discharged\nbecause he could not adjust to military food. \nActually, I think he was discharged before the guy in the wheel chair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\ndon\u2019t know much about the guy in the wheel chair.  He was in our company, but not my\nplatoon.  Members of the platoon with the\nwheel chair guy told us that he was drafted, even though he couldn\u2019t walk, and\nhadn\u2019t for years.  You have to wonder how\nsomeone like that made it through all the stopgaps.  It is, nonetheless, the government.  I suspect it was a grudge, or something like\nthat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then,\nthere was Hovey.  Hovey disappeared one\nday, his bunk stripped of blankets and sheets and his footlocker empty.  The barracks in Fort Lewis, Washington, were\nwooden.  Recruits were allowed to smoke,\nand many did.  Used Folgers\u2019 coffee cans\nwere painted a bright red, and served as ash trays.  Because a combination of smoking and wood\nmight cause a fire, one person walked around the two-story barracks each night\non \u201cfire watch\u201d.  Each soldier was\nscheduled for one hour.  When your hour\nwas up, you woke up the next person on the schedule and so on and so\nforth.  I happened to be the one on watch\none night when I turned around to see Hovey right behind me.  \u2018What was he doing on the second floor in his\nbriefs and T-shirt?\u2019 I asked myself.  Both\nof us had bunks on the first floor; his was next to mine.  \u201cHovey?\u201d I whispered.  He said, \u201cIt\u2019s alright, I got my cap.\u201d  He walked back and forth down the middle\naisle of the second floor and went back downstairs to bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In\nthe morning, those on watch are to report any strange activity.  I had to report Hovey.  He was sleepwalking.  That will get you a medical (or\nadministrational) discharge faster than being in a wheel chair,\nsupposedly.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The\nwheel chair guy, the native-American, and Hovey.  Three people I didn\u2019t get to know.  They accomplished something Corporal Klinger\nand I couldn\u2019t get done \u2013 a quick way out of the Army.  But I didn\u2019t envy any of the three, I thought\nI could be a good soldier.  Staff\nSergeant Green\u2019s attitude toward me was misunderstood.  I just don\u2019t know why he didn\u2019t like me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The\nday no one looked forward to was the day in which recruits have to run 2.5\nmiles over rough terrain with a full pack, weapon, helmet, field jacket,\netc.  There were approximately 40 men per\nplatoon, and our company \u2013 Charlie Company (or \u201cC\u201d Company for non-slang\nconformity) had 4 platoons.  Although I\nwas in the 1st<\/sup> Platoon of Charlie Company, we went 2nd<\/sup>.  Another platoon took off ahead of us.  After a 30-second wait, it was our turn.  I was in the front row.  I passed a lot of people, and when I came\nacross the finish line Sgt. Green ran right over to me and said, \u201cRyan, you\ncheated!\u201d  I didn\u2019t realize that I came\nin first and passed an entire platoon. \nWhile I lit up a cigarette, I told him that I passed each and every\ncheckpoint.  He could check to make\nhimself feel better, but I finished running the entire 2.5-mile course.  Oddly, no one came across the finish line\nwhile we were chatting.  He checked.  I was better at distance running than I was\naware.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\ncontinued to run after Basic Training, and into my early 20s.  I still walk to this day, but running \u2013 no\nthank you.  It\u2019s hard on the knees, feet,\nand lungs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\nme squeeze in one more story about running in Basic Training.  About halfway through the nine-week term, we\nwere lined up one Saturday morning to march across the street to get a\nhaircut.  The PX was across the street\nwith a barber shop.  We had to pay for\nour own haircuts this time.  \u201cA little\noff the top\u201d was not funny.  We were told\nthat we would be allowed to purchase anything we could afford in the PX,\nincluding beer.  I don\u2019t remember the\norder in which we were to receive haircuts, but I was toward the end.  I didn\u2019t have more than one beer.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once\neveryone had their haircut, and spent time buying cigarettes and books and\nradios and beer \u2013 lots of beer, we were told to line up outside.  There was some noticeable staggering.  Thinking that we were going to be ordered to do\nan about face and march across the street, we were surprised by the command\nthat made us left face and march up the street. \nAbout one-minute into the march Sgt. Green yelled \u201cdouble time\u201d.  I hope you know that \u201cdouble time\u201d means\nrun.  We double-timed for about one-half mile\nbefore we came to a stop (excuse me, that would be a \u201chalt!\u201d).  We lost about half of the platoon.  They were bent over vomiting in consistently\nsegmented proportions to how much beer they had drank.  A few more began heaving once we\nstopped.  I can\u2019t recall how few of us\nwere standing there waiting for the next order with no adverse effects of the\nhaircuts, but it wasn\u2019t more than eight of us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nhave a few more Basic Training stories, but it\u2019s too much for this blog.  I may have one more blog on Marty\u2019s Basic\nTraining.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By the way, it is NOT boot camp.  That\u2019s what you do in the Navy and Marines.  I hear it\u2019s not as strenuous.  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In a May 8 (Run, Ryan, Run) article, I wrote about some Army Basic Training events that attempted to carve me into the man the Army wanted me to be.  I hope my readers don\u2019t think that was the end … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":156,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[635],"class_list":["post-1637","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-basic-training"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1637","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1637"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1637\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1644,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1637\/revisions\/1644"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/156"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1637"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1637"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iowappa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1637"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}