Picture This

webeagleMy husband had a brief torrid affair.  He is deeply remorseful and promised it would never happen again.  You see, my long absences combined with the attention of a young, beautiful woman with sparkling eyes and legs that went on forever proved to be too much for his libido.  He said he would do anything to save the marriage, even wear a body camera in order to repair our relationship.  A number of our acquaintances have employed this device to address cheating partners with problematic results.

For example, Sam put it on his girlfriend Veronica after catching her repeatedly flirting with other men.  His jealousy was destroying the relationship, so she agreed to wear it hoping this would help curtail Sam’s angry outbursts.  After watching the surveillance, it became clear that the problem appeared to be with the men that Veronica encountered.  According to the camera results, any man that she met became strangely flirtatious and many times sexually aggressive with apparently no incentive.  Veronica, or Roni as she prefers to be called, was uncharacteristically silent on her side of the camera.  She was normally chatty, outgoing and flirtatious. Her sparkling eyes and legs that went on forever were male magnets.  But Sam couldn’t argue with the camera results.  Roni, simpered with satisfaction, grateful that the camera focus was never on her.

Then there was poor Megan.  Her husband Dick had purchased the services of probably most of the prostitutes in the Greater Des Moines area.  Their marriage counselor suggested that he suffered from sex addiction.  Dick agreed to wear the camera to gain Megan’s trust and as long as the camera focused forward and not down, Dick appeared to be remaining faithful to Megan.  What was weird was that over time, Dick actually seemed to get excited at the prospect of putting the camera on before going out to purchase his nightly pack of cigarettes.  Megan wished he would quit.  It was destroying the family budget.

Now Roger had the worst luck of all with these cameras. Every time the camera seemed to be recording questionable behavior, it mysteriously broke.  His girlfriend Cindy was at first confused at the sensitively of the innumerable body cameras that had been used, but started to get suspicious.  When Roger was making out with another woman at a party that Cindy couldn’t attend, a friend of Cindy’s recorded it on her phone and shared it with Cindy.  Roger’s repeated excuse of yet another camera breaking while at the party was countered with Cindy’s girlfriend’s evidence.  The relationship ended.

Then there was Kathy, a life-long staunch believer in monogamy.  She married Frank knowing that he suffered from serious trust issues after catching his mother in bed with another man when he was fourteen.  Year after year he hounded her, reading her mail, emails, text messages, and eavesdropped on her phone conversations.  Even though he found no evidence of infidelity, he still couldn’t shake the picture of her in bed with another man.  When no amount of words or reassurance worked, Kathy went against her better judgment and agreed to wear a body camera as a last resort to prove her continued faithfulness.  Frank still wasn’t convinced.  So Kathy became a victim of the self-fulfilling prophecy and launched a sordid affair.  Funny, Frank seemed to be relieved at her indiscretion. Ten years of waiting for her to have an affair finally happened.

Probably the saddest example was poor Ted.  He was a man of honor and integrity and could very well be the ideal man for any woman wanting a healthy, nurturing relationship.  He fell deeply in love with Sally, a woman that had a long history of bad relationships and she was carrying the resulting heavy baggage.  She asked him to wear a camera to prove his faithfulness, but he sadly declined and ended the relationship.  He just wasn’t comfortable having to prove his innocence.  It seemed so un-American.

Ted is correct.  Surveillance is un-American.  We have all been so conditioned to view giving up our right to privacy as a solution to problems that no one even tries to fight the issue when it is suggested, the only opposition is to limit the scope of the surveillance.  But body cameras do not heal trust issues.  So my response to my husband is no on the body camera.  The issue on the table is whether or not trust can be reestablished.  Or, should the relationship be terminated and potentially replace my hubby with a man like Ted?

Marty’s disclaimer:

All of the characters above are fictional – especially the imaginary husband having a “brief torrid affair”.  I would never have an affair.  Why would I want to jeopardize a great relationship that exists between Stephanie and me?  More importantly, you don’t hurt the ones you love!  And I love Stephanie so much that I did not object to her blogging on an issue in which we disagree.  I am Ted.

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2 Responses to Picture This

  1. Jorgen Rasmussen says:

    How does all this relate to the more important policy issue of body cameras on police officers? If one argues that such cameras don’t help lack of trust between spouses, then does that mean they are useless in getting trust between the police and the public, especially among those already (with good reason) suspicious of the police? I fear that this debate about spouses will only muddy the debate about law enforcement.

  2. Matthew says:

    Very well done Stephanie! I think this is a fun and humorous way to share your viewpoint. It is an interesting debate that is going on right now in the multiple states where people have been impacted. The problem that I have with the body cameras is that it focuses on an effect rather than the cause, which is why are the police officers shooting innocent people to begin with? And why don’t they get punished for it? Every time I turn on the news about a police officer killing somebody it is usually followed by, “they have been put on paid suspended leave”. Can you think of any other jobs that would follow a similar policy? Because I sure can’t. What would happen if students at a high school found out that if they got caught using drugs on campus or even worse assaulted a fellow student that they would be sent home and given straight A’s as punishment? Using your example, simply recording your significant other having sex with somebody other than yourself is not going to fix the underlying problems that exist. Neither will putting a body camera on a police officer so that we can watch him murder the next victim. Then you have the issue of the people that get recorded without permission or a warrant. But hey, who cares about them? I’m glad that you do Stephanie, keep up the good work.

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